A logical question.

Maybe we haven't made as much headway in Jaden's understanding as we thought...
Today Jaden was at the office with us since Pre-K is out.  He loves to see patients with us and sometimes patients even request "Dr. Jaden."  Today when he was seeing a patient, the person with them mentioned that yesterday was their birthday.  Jaden's amazed response:  Are you Jesus?!

Jaden's first Christmas!!!

Tim's input for this Christmas:

Merry Christmas, everyone. As we celebrate this wonderful day I have been reflecting a bit on the blessings and gifts of the past year. Without a doubt, bringing Jaden home has been our greatest gift this year.

At about 4:30 this morning Jaden started stirring in his bed. He sleeps alone but will often stir during the night, and when he does I go in to lie down with him. This morning I went in with last night's message from the Candlelight Service ringing clearly in my mind: We should receive our gifts (the pastor was specifically referring to the gift of the Christ child and the gift of salvation) with enthusiasm and joy.

"Merry Christmas" I whispered as I lay down next to Jaden. "Merry Christmas" was the response I got, accompanied with his sweet smile. Then he snuggled up next to me and drifted back to sleep.

Merry Christmas indeed!

This has been a unique Christmas season for all of us. It is Jaden's first Christmas home, which means that it really is his first Christmas. Christmas is not recognized at all by most people in China, and certainly it is a non-event in the orphanages.

That was the thought that was in my mind as I went to sleep last night, and it is such a sad thought. Due to the time difference (China is one big time zone and is 14 hours ahead of us), our Christmas Eve is their Christmas morning. Christianity is making headway in China, but it is with a heavy heart that I realize that most children in China are not given the gift of Christmas and its meaning ... yet.

But Jaden Christopher Sanford has been given that gift!

One of the challenges for us this Christmas has been to try to help him have some understanding of what Christmas really means. This was a little tough, though, because where do you start? We have mainly focused on the idea that this is a celebration of Jesus' birth. He is used to praying to God before meals (and sometimes prayers at bedtime, although for some reason when we do evening prayers he wants to be a puppy dog and make sure that we pray for the puppy dog (???) ), and so we explained to him that God had a son named Jesus and that is why we are having Christmas ... as a celebration of the child's birth. Jaden seems happy with that explanation, really liking the idea of a father and a son. Down the road we will be able to tie that to the Father and the Son.

A few weeks ago we got the gift of a light-up nativity set, and when we set it out Jaden was asking about it. Tracy was explaining who everyone was in the set, and Jaden decided to set up his superhero figures around the manger ... I'm not sure if they were adoring or protecting the baby, but regardless it was adorable.

　

A big part of Christmas is gifts, but the greatest gift that Jaden has received has been the fact that his Gege and his JieJie are home from their "school houses." Mitch finished finals first and has been home for more than a week, and Laura finished last Wednesday and has been home since Thursday. Jaden has been overjoyed having us all together. When Mitch got home, Jaden was so excited and wanted to spend LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of time with his Gege! Mitch came home on a Friday night, which is when he usually comes home and so Jaden was expecting him to be here ... but was overjoyed to find out that Mitch did not have to go back to school for several weeks.

We were not sure what time Laura would be getting home on Thursday, so we did not tell Jaden when she was coming home. When he came in from the office, though, she was here and when he saw her he shrieked with joy and said, "Laura, I missed you!!!"

And since then he has been SO HAPPY. When we are all in the same room he glows with joy! Family is the gift that he needed more than anything else.

But of course a big part of a child's Christmas is related to gifts. We made a conscious effort to avoid overdoing the gifts, but that hasn't meant that he is deprived :-)



The first material gift he got was one that he found "hidden" in a closet that he never goes in. He was in Laura's room and asked her where a toy they were playing with had come from. She mentioned that it had been in her closet, and he asked if he could look in there. She did not know that Mitch's main present to Jaden was in there, and his cry of "Wow" alerted her to the fact that something unexpected was there. Gege said he could go ahead and open it, and it was a really cool castle which has interactive sounds etc. Jaden has spent HOURS playing with it.

 

 
JieJie was so excited about it (she is still a kid at heart) that she went online and found a couple of toys that are of the same style and ordered them, and so his next big toy was a dinosaur. More HOURS of playing with toys with lots of dinosaur attacks on the castle etc.

(And Jaden even watched Sleeping Beauty for inspiration on play with his dragon and castle.)

 


While we are enjoying Christmas greatly, we still have the awareness that one of our family is still not here. Our little Katie is still in her orphanage in Chengdu, and so there is still that hole in our hearts as we are waiting to get her home.

Many of you know that the ladybug is the symbol of Chinese adoption. In the fall we had a swarm of ladybugs in our home, but they had cleared out lately. As Jaden and I were playing "dinosaur attacks castle" yesterday we had a ladybug crawl up to us! And then last night at church Tracy saw another ladybug. It's like she is saying "I'll be there soon"

We did get a mini-update on Katie the other day. Her current name is Long Qi Ying, and here is the update we got.

"Long Qi Ying is doing very well. She is physically healthy and doesn't get sick very much. She can now walk on her own. She can say Ba Ba, Ma Ma and other one syllable words. Despite her limb difference, she is very nimble and flexible. She can pick up toys and small snacks and feed herself crackers. She is very bright. She can understand simple instructions and responds appropriately. She can waive good-bye. Her height is 74cm, weight is 8.5 kg, head size is 44cm, chest size is 44cm, length of her feet is 12cm and she has 10 teeth."

She is 18 months old now and weighs 18 pounds. With those measurements she would be the size of an average 8 1/2 month old American child. How we ache to get her home! She looks so solemn in all of her pictures, and every time I look at her I keep thinking how much she needs hugs and kisses.

During the afternoon of Christmas Eve Jaden and I were ... yep, you guessed it ... still playing with the castle and dinosaur and the little men that came with them.  

The little man that came with the dinosaur had been the "bad guy" all day long and the guys that came with the castle were the "good guys." The dinosaur had really been enjoying chewing on the good guys.

Jaden has conversations between the characters while he plays, and after being picked on all day long, one of the good guys told the bad guy "You need to go to church." Hilarious. What happened after that was even better, though. Jaden had the good guy and the bad guy get in a "car" and go to the church together. After that the "bad guy" wasn't so mean any more. Too cute!

 
Laura has always been our wrapping princess, but this year she has had a helper.

　

 
One of the things that we knew about Jaden, but that has really been emphasized in the past few days, is the fact that he cannot handle sugar very well. He does not get much sugar normally in his diet, and when he does get some he gets quite the sugar high! Ummm ... Laura ... maybe straight sugar is not the best thing?

 

　

Last night was the Candlelight Service, and as I referred to earlier the main message was that we should actively and joyfully receive the gift of Christmas. The example that our pastor used was that we should receive the gift of Christ and our salvation with the enthusiasm of a child. After the service we went to NieNie's house, and Jaden demonstrated what enthusiasm should look like.

He was thrilled with every present that he got, and he wanted to play with them right away. But what was really cute was that he was as excited for everyone else who got a present as he was for his own presents. He got to deliver the presents, and he often wanted to stand right with family as they opened their gifts.

 And through it all, Jaden also greatly enjoys his gift of family!

 As I type this Christmas morning, Jaden, Mitch and Laura are watching one of Jaden's presents (Despicable Me 2) and laughing together. I can't help but smile as I hear them.

But now it is time for more Christmas celebration in the Sanford family.

Merry Christmas to all.

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A couple of weeks ago I put an entry on the Facebook site for Love Without Boundaries, the foundation that works to improve the health and lives of orphans in China. It was an organization that was started by an adoptive Mom who realized that so much needed to be done for the orphans and had the realization that something COULD be done! It is a great organization, but it is especially dear to me because they paid for Jaden's two surgeries while he was still in China. Without surgery his orphanage director would have never put him on the list for possible adoption, and without that Jaden would still be Hai FuXing and would still be in an orphanage without hope of ever being adopted.

Anyway, I have included that post below (for anyone who is not on Facebook).

　

　

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All I want for Christmas

This time of year a common question is "what do you want for Christmas?" Until recently my response when my family would ask me this was either (1) to provide a list of items that I wanted or (2) to promise that I would get back to the them with an answer.

In more recent years that question has been more and more difficult because let’s face it, there’s just not much "stuff" that I need any more. Some years I would recognize this and realize that this means that I am blessed. I would comment something to the effect that I did not need much, but I would always manage to come up with a list of things just the same.

In the past couple of years I recognized that perhaps I needed to start thinking of others at this time of year, and so I would ask that a sheep or a goat be donated to someone in some far-off place … but don’t worry … I would be sure to come up with stuff for me on my list also.

This year, though, my answer to "what do you want for Christmas" is easy. I can give my answer immediately.

But before I give the answer … some background is needed.

We brought our son Jaden home from China 10 months ago when he was a few months short of 4 years old. That means that he spent Christmas 2012 in China.

But of course to him, Christmas was just another day in the orphanage. To most people in China, Christmas is a non-event. (Why celebrate Christmas if you’ve never even heard of Christ? But that is a different thought for a different day). Regardless, he and millions of other orphans spent that Christmas day without their most important need being met … the need to be with a forever family.

But let’s go back even farther in time.

In May 2009 our son Jaden was born. It was surely with horror that his mother realized that he was born with a urogenital medical condition … a medical condition which in the United States would be considered an inconvenience, but in China can be viewed as a curse on the family. And even if his family wanted to help him, they would not be able to afford the medical bills for his surgical care, bills which realistically might be more than a full year’s worth of income.

So he was abandoned at 12 days of age with nothing but a blanket and a note saying "we hope that someone kind can help him." He was taken to the local orphanage and given the name Hai FuXing, a name which would forever brand him as an orphan and would forever limit his potential for a bright future. He was named for the city he was found in (Haimen City) and the apartment complex he was abandoned in (FuXing Apartments), and for his entire life anyone who ever met him would realize that he had been an orphan. (It would be like meeting someone named Tulsa WalMart … clearly not a "normal" name.)

His medical condition was urogenital in nature, which in the United States might be a little awkward to discuss but would have simply been addressed and fixed. Once the surgeries were done, he would have been able to live with his parents happily ever after. But in the eyes of his Chinese orphanage directors (because of their culture and their indwelling belief system) his urogenital issue made him unadoptable.

So rather than try to put him on the list to be considered for adoption, he stayed in the orphanage.

I have been in his orphanage. It is very clean. The workers do what they can. But they have their hands so full with mentally challenged and autistic kids that I can assure you that Hai FuXing was basically ignored.

He spent 3 years, 6 months and 30 days in that orphanage.

In Christmas 2009 I was still making lists just like I had for so many years. Christmas came and went and I had no idea that I had a son in China. Yet there he was: not knowing anything about Christmas or the reason it exists, not knowing about love or about family, and not even having the potential to be listed for adoption due to his medical condition.

Christmas 2010 … ditto

But in 2011 a miracle occurred. Love Without Boundaries agreed to pay for the surgeries for his medical condition … with the understanding that he would then be listed for adoption. This likely seemed like a foreign idea to his orphanage director, but the agreement was made and after his first surgery Jaden was listed for the Special Needs adoption program. (The orphanage director later told us that due to having a urogenital issue, they felt that he was not even appropriate for the foster care system … even AFTER his two surgeries had been done to totally resolved his condition!)

Who paid for Jaden’s surgeries? People who donated to Love Without Boundaries.
· Did they know him? Nope
· Will they ever meet him? Probably not
· Could they have spent their money elsewhere, even on some worthy cause? Yep.

But they gave to LWB, and because of their generosity our son is home. As I am typing this, he is playing on the floor next to me and laughing and enjoying life! He has a mama and a baba (daddy) and a jie jie (older sister) and a gege (older brother) and a nai nia (grandmother) and a ye ye (grandfather) … and he has a mei mei (little sister) who is in an orphanage in China and should be coming home in the Spring of 2014!

In 2012 by the grace of God working through a series of events and a series of people, we were able to get matched with our son for adoption. Without LWB and those who support LWB, our son would be in an orphanage again this year. He would not know it is Christmas. He might have gone his entire life without hearing about the reason for Christmas. He would be getting closer and closer to the unadoptable age of 14, and closer and closer to the age of 16 when he would be turned out into the streets with a name that labeled him as a cursed orphan and would make him unemployable.

Jaden’s name in the orphanage was Hai Fuxing. We knew early on that we were not going to keep any part of that name. We knew that we would be using the first name of Jaden for him but were unsure of what his middle name would be. In their files and requests for donations, LWB used the name "Christopher" for him. In honor and appreciation to LWB, his middle name is Christopher.

I am pleased to show you Jaden Christopher Sanford !

So back to the original question. What do I want for Christmas ??? The answer is easy … Anything that supports Love Without Boundaries.

The wonderful thing is that LWB has many programs available to choose from, so donors can find a cause that speaks to their hearts. LWB has programs designed for:
* the sick
* the malnourished and underfed
* those who will not get an education without the help of a LWB program
* dental care (Orphanges traditionally do not do anything for dental care, and when our son came home at 3 years of age he had to have 6 root canals and multiple fillings)
* those who at-risk of being separated from their families due to medical issues.

Are you looking for a way to make your gifts meaningful this year? Think LWB!

To everyone involved in Love Without Boundaries, I say THANK YOU.

To everyone who has ever donated to Love Without Boundaries, I say THANK YOU. Without you my son would still be in an orphanage this Christmas, and I would not even know that he existed.

How many other children are in orphanages right now that can be helped, that can be made "adoptable" or can be supported in a way that allows them to eventually find their forever family?

How many might never be adopted but yet can still be given the gift of a better life through the some of the programs of LWB?

When we told Jaden that we were going back to China to adopt again, we were a little concerned that he might be jealous or feel that he was in some way being replaced. His response was priceless, though. When we told him that there is a little girl in China who does not have a mama or a baba, he got very sad … he held his head with his hands, shook his head no, and said over and over "oh no, oh no" … He was absolutely crushed by the idea that there would be a single child anywhere without a family. If only we all had such a view of those in need! It was very humbling.

One of the keys that led me to become more aware of the need to do something about orphans was the song "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson … "Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and act like everyone’s alright, when I know they’re not" … may we all remember that when we are making our lists for Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

OOT!!

Whoot! 
Those who have been following along since Jaden may remember this terminology but for those with short term memory issues like me, we are officially Out of Translation!  That means that China has all of our documentation translated into Chinese and it is ready to be matched to Katie's file.  With Jaden that meant we got LOA (the letter saying he was ours) in about 2 weeks.  Some people wait much longer and in the adoption world, you never know if you are going to be on the 20 day end or the 120 day end.  We are hoping that we are on the short end again.  :)

Usually when you get LOA you travel within about 8 weeks.  Prayers appreciated for a quick LOA. 

:)

:)

Jaden's first Pumpkin and another step toward Katie!

We took Jaden to his first Halloween event ever.  He was a little overwhelmed by the whole thing.  He wasn't quite sure why all the kids and grown-ups were dressed up.  Lots of kids running around hyped up on sugar...just a little too much of a good thing.  It probably didn't help that he has a cold.  In fact, he told me both yesterday and today that, "Jaden is very sick.  I need to see a doctor."  Hmm, what is the verse about a prophet getting no respect in his own home?  :)  Kidding aside, he has been pretty puny.  He is fortunately more like his sister and daddy than his mother and brother.  He can give back his dinner and then go back to happily barking a few seconds later.  (We are currently in a puppy phase.  I guess this is a step up ... last week he was a cricket most of the week.) 

We did get him a pumpkin to decorate.  He drew the hair and a giant snake around the top (umm, it looked a lot like a long wiggly line but he SAID it was a snake).  Then he wanted to carve a face on it.  We compromised;  Daddy carved eyes and nose, Mama carved the smile and Jay cheered us on.

Jaden has also been working on joining Sanford Family Medicine.  Dr. Jaden was very busy the other day, tending to all of my sick staff.  He is a natural.  He asked each person what was wrong and was very empathetic.  With comments like, "Oh, no!" or "That must hurt!"  or "You should have listened to your Mama!"  he showed he was really listening.  I found out after the fact that he didn't change tongue depressors between patients and that he tried to use a nail file as a tongue depressor once, but I guess we all have to learn somehow.  He has even picked up on the fact that being a doctor means doing a lot of "work" and works diligently on his paperwork after seeing his patients.

We also recently made it back to the zoo.  At the Tulsa Zoo Run a few weeks ago, we actually ran on the road that is the back entrance to the zoo and saw only the giraffes (and only saw them at a distance because they are tall).  It was raining and we (well, Laura and I) were tired from the run, so we left pretty quickly with a promise to return.  We had a perfect fall day for it last week, though, and we and spent all Sunday afternoon enjoying the animals.

Today, Tim and I had a conference all day and had to leave the house by 6:30 am.  Jay's NaiNai came down and fed him breakfast and took him to school.  When we told him at bedtime last night what the plan was, his emphatic response was, "Nice!"  He loves his NaiNai.

On the "Katie news" front:  While we were driving home from our conference today we got Fed Ex notification that our dossier had been delivered to our agency.  Yeah!  One big hurdle down.  If our China agent (who normally lives in California) didn't happen to be in China right now, we would have been able to have our dossier to China on Friday.  Even though it will delay our travel to China by a week, I won't complain that she happens to be in China and away from work as long as she is able to bring us back an updated picture of Katie.  She told us before she left that she was definitely going to Katie's orphanage on this trip and would try (no promises) to get us pics or a video.  Praying!  It does a Mama's heart good to see her child.

I am amazed daily by the little man that God has blessed us with.  As we come up to Orphan Sunday, I can't help but be humbled by the thought that God chose us to raise this little guy and pray that somehow Katie will know in her little heart that we are coming. 

First Parent Teacher Conference and Jaden Learns he has a Mei Mei.

Today was a big day!  Jaden had his first Parent/Teacher Conference today.  I will admit to being apprehensive about this.  Jaden LOVES going to school and LOVES his teacher and so I wasn't worried about parts of the conference.  It makes me very happy to see how securely Jay is attached to us; he's happy when we drop him at school and equally happy to come home.  Back when we first discussed letting him start Pre-K such a short time after joining the family, we worried that he would feel abandoned or like we were putting him in a daytime orphanage.  That hasn't materialized at all.  In this respect it probably has been a good thing that his orphanage is barren; Stonebridge is completely different. 

As it turns out, the part we most wanted Jaden to get out of Pre-K, the social skills of interacting and communicating, has been his most successful area.  He is such a sweet-natured kid at home, we were very glad to hear that he is that way at school too.  Ms. Wann gave us several examples of his please and thank-yous.  The three things we ask of all of our kiddos is to be responsible, respectful and fun to be around.  It sounded like he was doing a pretty good job on those things.  :) 

In the orphanage, he had never been exposed to books or crayons and had no idea how to even color.  I know it is silly but it used to make me so sad to watch him with crayons or pens/pencils because it just seems such a basic skill to lack.  I hate knowing that he missed out on the baby scribbles and chewing his crayons and, well you get the point.  When he first started trying, you could tell he was mature enough to realize that others knew how to do it and he didn't.  He preferred to have us color for him.  We've gotten around that by offering chalk and markers.  His best efforts on coloring sheets has been timid pale scribbles, which progressed to bold almost aggressive scribbles, which progressed to snakes.  The only thing I have ever seen him try to shape at all was circles and snakes.  Tonight, at the school, Ms Wann showed us the family he drew.  It was beautiful.  We all had nice round heads, big round eyes (they were even inside the heads :) ) and smiles.  Next she showed us a paper he did today.  For the first time ever, Jay didn't call her over with  "Help, please!" when he finished his work sheet.  When Ms Wann looked through the papers, she could read "Jaden" on his paper!  She said she got teary eyed when she saw it because it was so unexpected.  We all thought that it would be months before he could do this.  It was obvious that he worked hard trying to do it.  It is nowhere near perfectly written, but it is clearly "JADEN" and so is perfect to us.  :)  He has so much ground to make up.  He still doesn't know the alphabet (they don't have one in China and even if they did, he wouldn't have been taught) and he still likes to skip the number 6 on the way to 10 but he gets good marks for enthusiasm.  He makes me think of a butterfly, laboring slowly to come out of its chrysalis.  I see those beautiful wings peaking out; I can't wait to see what's next.

As the news has been  trickling out about  our next (and last) adoption, several people have mentioned it in front of him.  He is always listening.  Even when he seems engrossed in play, he listens.  (Like the time in church that Brian mentioned a snake during his sermon and Jay proceeded to draw a giant, wandering circle all over the bulletin.  He then announced, very loudly, BIG SNAKE!  Sorry, Brian.)  This week someone said in front of Jay, "I hear you're getting another one!  Are you getting a boy or  a girl?" Jay got a little quiet and was in a strange mood afterward and I worried that he may have heard and wondered if he was being replaced.   That pretty much decided for us that we needed to discuss this with him.  Our only hesitation had been that it is such a long time away.  So tonight, Tim told Jaden that there is a little girl named Katie who lives a long way away and doesn't have a mama or baba.  His response was precious.  He put his hands on his cheeks and said, "Oh, no.  Oh, no."  and shook his head.  When he was told that she didn't have a Gege or Jie Jie or Nie Nie either, he just looked incredibly sad for her.  When Tim said that we were going to go get her and bring her here so she could share his, Jaden just lit up!  He was so excited for her.  I wish we had it on video.  It was incredible to watch him be so thrilled for her.  He saw her picture and kept repeating, "This is my Mei Mei!  That's good."  

 

I'm  Gege?! (He thought that was pretty cool.)

We know he won't always be thrilled about this but the idea that his first thought was for her and what a good thing this will be for her...amazing.  Have I said before how much we love this little guy?

Vacation Fun and Exciting News

We just returned from 8 days in Orlando.

Yes, I am exhausted.  :)

When your children are 23 and 21, you forget how much work it is to vacation with a 4 year old.  Jaden had a wonderful time, in his own manner.  Jaden has less interest than the rest of the family in rides and it took a few days for us to figure that out.  He had so much fun and enthusiasm for the shows and the show-type rides, often people around us would look at us and smile.  I don't think it was the "would you shut your child up?" look.  He was so funny to watch!  We saw the Beauty and the Beast show (wonderful mix of scared screams, ecstatic joy, and belly laughs), Little Mermaid (a little too much glee when Prince Eric stabs Ursula with the boat) and several showings of Disney Junior with Sophia the First, Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Doc McStuffins.  He went berserk at that one!  Like, 10 cups of coffee laced with crack berserk.  He was so excited with each of the special effects that he was nearly dangerous to himself in his enthusiasm.  During the show we were showered with snow, bubbles, gold doubloons and birthday streamers and each time he was thrilled to the point of shaking his hands and dancing in a circle.  Tim said it must be what it would be like if he were to meet Alice Cooper in person and didn't have an adult behavior-filter.  I'm going to try to attach a couple of videos.  It was dark in the auditorium and so the video isn't the best but you should be able to see a small portion of his excitement.  :)

An unexpected excitement during the trip was getting to spend some time with one of the families that traveled to China to adopt their daughter while we were there getting Jaden.  Jaden was a little unsure about seeing Olivia again; she was part of the earliest memories of the big transition to family life.  She looked equally unsure of him at first.  Within a very short amount of time, they were doing beautifully!  Our friends, Katie and Mike had all 4 of their kiddos with them and they were awesome with Jay.  I suppose having a Chinese little sister that they adore predisposed them to enjoy Jaden but it was an absolute joy to see them interacting with each other and with Jaden.

We stayed on campus at Disney at the Beach Club Resort.  They have a wonderful water play area that we used quite a bit.  Jaden has overcome his nervousness in the water as long as he is wearing his vest.  Appropriate fear is not a bad thing.  He did ride the big water slide which was scarier that I thought it would be.  I went first so that I would be at the bottom and be able to help him out of the water and the whole way down, I thought "oops!  This could be a bummer."  He loved it and came out laughing.  Whew!  Dodged that bad-parent bullet.  He did not want to repeat the experience but still said it was fun.  He was such a trooper.  He did a great job remembering to thank people (bus drivers, boat captains, cast members) and he really enjoyed the "Disney" attitude.  If you have not been to Disney, one of the best things about the experience is that everyone seems very pleased to be at work.  Smiles abound.  When we left the airport in Tulsa to go home, he tried to thank the toll-booth lady who was, umm not Disney-esque.  When she didn't acknowledge his smile or "Thank you" after 2 attempts, he whispered, "I think that lady is mean."  Yep, Toto, we're not in Disney anymore.

We are very blessed that he is a good traveler.  He does very well on airplanes and buses and that made our trip much easier.  Because he does so well at trying new foods, feeding him on trips has also been easy.  This trip was no exception.  We did the Disney free dining plan and so had a sit down meal (mostly character meals) planned for each day.  He really seemed to enjoy meeting the Pooh characters and for some reason really did not enjoy meeting the Princesses.  The pictures at the princess meal are priceless.  He has such funny faces that he makes.  He tried a couple of pained smiles but mostly you can tell that they weren't his thing.  Now the big hairy sword-yielding Viking, he was pretty cool.  Go figure.  It was wonderful that we were so close to EPCOT.  We walked over to China several times for fried rice and noodles.  That is still his ultimate comfort food.

On the last flight of the trip, DFW to Tulsa, I had to stay behind to tag the stroller.  It took several minutes and so Tim and Jaden went on to the plane.  As I was waiting my turn to board, I noticed 2 flight attendants were standing by the cockpit giggling.  When I got to the door I smiled at the attendant and she said, "You have got to come see this precious child!"  Imagine my surprise when the child sitting in the cockpit, getting a flying lesson from the pilot, was Jaden!  She said "Isn't he sweet?  Such a pure joy."  She looked a little surprised when I agreed that he was sweet and thanked her.  I guess after seeing Tim, she assumed I would be Asian.  :)  She was very kind to me and to Jay.  She told me to get my camera, that I needed to record this.  I have no idea how he sweet talked himself into the cockpit but I thought that it was incredible of the pilot and flight attendants to give so much time and attention to a random 4 year old.  A+ American Airlines.
As I left the flight, she thanked me for sharing Jaden with them.  How awesome is that?

It was a wonderful trip with a very sweet ending.  (But I need a vacation after my vacation.)

On a not-Jaden front...for those of you who may not have heard yet...we are adopting another child!  Jaden will be getting a new mei mei (little sister) sometime in the next 9-12 months.  We plan to name her Katelyn, although mostly right now we are saying Katie.  She has some health issues that we will definitely need to deal with and pray about but we couldn't be any happier.  She is pretty little right now at just 15 months old but is in an orphanage with a "Half the Sky" program.  That is wonderful news for us as it means she will come to us with much more information about her early months.  The program tries, as well as is possible, to parent more than just take care of the kids and so the kiddos coming out of their programs tend to have fewer developmental and attachment issues.  So the newest progress on the adoption of Katie is that our home study was approved and waiting on us when we returned yesterday from our trip.  That meant that today we could submit our I800A supplement 3 to USCIS (immigration) seeking permission to bring another child into the US.  We have had everything filled out and ready to be sent out FedEx just as soon as we received the hard copy of the home study and so we were able to get it out this morning.  Yea! 

Our New Norm

Life has changed again for Jaden Christopher.  Just as he was getting used to life as a Sanford, (coming in to the office everyday, being loved on by family, staff and patients and home again with the 5 of us together most nights) everything has gone topsy-turvy  on him.  He is now a full-time student and spends very little time at the office; Chinese language classes started, Gege and JieJie have both left for school and he is no longer getting an afternoon alone with each parent. Like I said, EVERYTHING has changed again.  His "Aunties" at work really miss his smiling face and silliness.  Work is a little less fun without him and my staff have been reminding my of that.  I knew he was missing them too but last night he reminded us by saying, "Jaben didn't go to work today...I'm sad."  We made sure to get him to the office today for some reconnect time after school.  He was so happy to see everyone, I loved the big smile on his face.

So far, Pre-K couldn't be going any better!  He loves his teacher and seems happy to go each day.  One of the little girls in his class is a little, ummm assertive?  He calls her Little Teacher.  Not in a negative way, he just seems to think that she is also employed by the school and he is okay with that.  :)  It is such a blessing that he enjoys it!  He is clearly already benefiting; he is less hesitant to color and cut and his English is still growing by leaps and bounds.  He has not benefited from the exposure to the viral load in school.  He has picked up a cold and it is awful to see his poor little chapped nose.   

Jaden has done a remarkable job with the changes but you can tell that he is having some stress with it.  For a day or two (or three) after Chinese class, his English suffered.  He had stopped slipping back into Chinese when he was excited or in a hurry and he has started that a little bit again.  Jaden clearly was unsure about a large gathering of Chinese pongyou.  Lots of Chinese children all gathered in one place with a lot of Chinese speaking adults=one nervous Jaden.  He clung pretty tightly.  Tim and I made it a big point to reassure him that we would all be going home after class together and kept telling him things we would do after class so that he would understand that we had no intention of leaving him there.  If he keeps having this much stress with the lesson time, I won't force him to go.  I would love to see him keep his Mandarin language skills but I am not willing to force him to at the expense of his emotional well-being.  For now, we are just taking a "wait and see" approach.  Hopefully, he will come to feel comfortable and perhaps even comforted by hearing his native tongue.  He has been very restless at night, much like he was in the first few weeks.  It is hard to tell if it is the stress or the cold.  Neither is much fun for him.

We have had lots of wonderful examples of his bonding with us in the last week.  I was thrilled, nearly to the point of tears, when I picked him up at school Monday afternoon.  He saw me walk in the waiting area and squealed "That's my Mama!" and ran and jumped in my arms.  After an awesome neck squeeze, he turned to his teacher, Ms Wann, and reiterated, "This is MY Mama!"  and then hopped down ready to leave.  That night at dinner when we got ready to say the blessing, he looked at his sibs empty chairs and said, "Where is my...oh."  He looked a little sad that Laura and Mitch weren't joining us for dinner.  As is our tradition, we asked Jaden who was going to say the blessing.  (He enjoys "assigning" that task.)  To our surprise, for the first time ever, he said he wanted to; this is what followed:
              "Thank you for my JieJie and my Gege.  XieXie God!  Amen"

 Sweet boy.    He has certainly changed the rhythm of our lives.  ;)

Thank you, God, for adding this little man to our family.

First day of Pre-K

Yesterday was a very long day for Mama, Baba and all of the Aunties at the office.  Jaden had his first day of Pre-K at Stone Bridge Academy.  He has a wonderful teacher that he really likes and his class only has about a dozen kids.  I was so nervous all day waiting on a call that never came.  My worries were things like bullies picking on him for his lack of English, melt down at nap time or lunch.  I wasted energy worrying because apparently he had a wonderful day.  When I picked him up at 3:15 he was ready to go but didn't seem overly-ready.  :)  He looked so grown up with his back pack and his lunch bag.  In typical boy fashion, I had to pull details out over ice cream at DQ.  Our conversation went something like this:

Did you have fun at school today?
Yes.

What did you do?
Umm, colored purple snakes and played with fire.

Umm, really?
Yes

Anything else?
Yes, the teacher took a nap.

Ok.

Upon further discussion, he decided that the "little teacher" in a dress took a nap.  I take that to mean it was one of his classmates and the fire was playing fireman (I think).  The teacher denies classroom fires, so I think we are okay.  :)

When we got to the office(after yelling "Where's my Baba?!"  several times and getting a good Baba hug), he was almost frantically hungry.  He actually dug in the trash to get a cracker out of the trash.  I think not having snacks available on demand all day is going to take a little getting used to for Jaden.  For the last 6 months we have pretty much fed him on his own schedule and even with that he hasn't had much weight gain.  I'd say he had a tapeworm if he hadn't been checked.  I guess it is just little boy energy. 

This morning when he got up and we started to get him ready for school, he was fine going but wanted to go to school naked.  Hmm, I wonder what response that would get.  They have said they are willing to make whatever accommodations he needs until he's fully comfortable but this may stretch that a little.  He seemed happy at drop off and so I am going to try not to worry today. 

Jaden and Ms Wann

Six Months Anniversary of Gotcha Day and Gotcha Day Video.

It is so hard to believe that it has only been 6 months.  At 8:52 pm today our time, it will be exactly 6 months from the moment we met Jaden.

He is such an amazing little guy.  He has learned so much English that he is completely conversant.  He understands 80-90% of what we say to him now.  He is adorable in ways that are hard to describe.  One of the cute things that he does always gets a giggle...when he was learning English early on, he would say "What you say?"  when he wanted us to repeat something that he didn't quite get.  (I wish I could catch a video of it.)  Now when we say something that he doesn't quite like, (ie:  No, you can't have a 4th peach right this minute.),  he looks confused, looks to someone else and says, "What she say?"  As if to say, surely that doesn't mean what it sounds like. :)

I was looking back at the pictures over the last 6 months and it still hurts a little to see how sad he was at first.  It was such a huge transition for him but he has just jumped right in to being a Sanford and has so much joy.  He brings so much fun to the office, we're really going to miss having him when he starts pre-K next month.

Tim made a Gotcha day video with a few pictures that are more recent.  I'll do my best to include it in this post.

Blessings y'all.

The first time I held Jaden!

Father’s Day as a father of three // The Lion King // Learning from Jaden

Tim here.  It’s been a busy week, but I wanted to take some time to reflect on it.

Last Sunday was Father’s Day, and it was my first Father’s Day as a father of three. Jaden has been with us for about five months now, and his being home seems so natural that most of the time it is hard to remember a time when he wasn’t with us.   Although I have to admit that it does occasionally strike us with wonder (Laura more often than the rest of us, I think) that he is really here forever! Anyway, Father’s Day was interesting because it just seemed so natural that I have three children, like it could not have been any other way.

This week we got to go see The Lion King Broadway play in Tulsa for the second time with Jaden, and it was special again. The first time we went (a couple of weeks ago) he sat enthralled the whole time and really enjoyed it. I was not sure that he would be so captivated again, but he mostly was (although he did let out a couple of loud yawns in the second act … not because he was bored but just because it was way past his bedtime.)

We had aisle seats each time, and the first time one of the hyenas that was walking down the aisle stopped and yipped right at him, to which Jaden responded "What are you doing?" When Mufasa died, Jaden said "Poor Baba." (We had always skipped past that part when he watched the movie.)

This week he caught the eye of a few of the cast members as they walked down the aisle, but the best part was when Jaden cracked up when Pumba sang loudly and wagged his tongue … Jaden laughed and laughed and laughed, and the folks around us got quite a kick out of Jaden’s enjoyment.

He has been to several plays with us now since coming home, and has enjoyed them all. He even enjoyed West Side Story, although when it was over (it has somewhat of a strange ending, I admit) he just looked at me and raised both palms up in the universal "what’s up with that" sign.  

 

　
In other recent events, today was Mitch’s fundraising lunch at church for his upcoming Visiting Orphans trip. He will be spending about 1 ½ weeks in China in July helping to care for orphans by being there to give them attention, love and prayers.

We spent a few hours yesterday preparing for the luncheon. We had lots to do, and unfortunately it seemed that everything we needed was in one of the other church buildings, so I spent a lot of time going back and forth between the three buildings.

When I am working on a task I tend to focus on getting it done and I don’t really appreciate distractions or interruptions. Well, this was one of those times when Jaden had different priorities and a different perspective on what is important than I did. He wanted to go with me each time I went to a different building, and he wanted to "help" me each time I had to carry something from one building to another. Being focused on the task I was getting frustrated, then I stopped and really looked at what he was doing … He was volunteering to help in any way that he could ("helping" me carry a trash bag, carry a container of tea, move an easel, etc. etc.) but he was doing it with such joy! He truly wanted to help, and was doing everything that he could to help.

It really struck me what great joy he was having as he helped me, and I found it touching that he had no idea that he was indirectly helping the orphans who will benefit from Mitch’s trip!

As is so often the case, it is good to stop and re-evaluate what is "important" at any given time!

All went well today with the lunch today, and it really helped raise funds for Mitch’s upcoming trip. He is going with an organization called Visiting Orphans, which exists to fulfill the biblical mandate of James 1:27 to "visit orphans in their distress." In his writeup for the church newsletter, Mitch wrote that the team is "heading to an orphanage in Chaoyang, China to play with the children, take them on walks, and just let them know that someone loves them." He will be on this trip from June 10 to June 22.

As a final note, Jaden's language continues to come along!  He is putting words together in new ways to make sentences and to express himself.  We are frequently surprised by what he is able to come up with!

Jaden's big adventure!

We are on our way!  Today we will board the Carnival Magic for Jaden's first cruise.  Whoot!

We have taken some mini-vacations, well ok, one mini-vacation to Six Flags with Jaden and he did really well and seemed to have a great time.  We decided it was time to initiate Jaden and make him a real Sanford.  I'm not sure what will happen if he doesn't enjoy cruising.  Mostly kidding, but I really can't wait to watch him on his first cruise.  One of the things I really enjoy about cruising is people watching; it is so much fun to watch first time cruisers and when it is someone you love it is even more fun.  Ask anyone I love and they'll tell you I've either gotten them on a cruise or I'm working on it.  :)

Back to Jaden...one of the things I really love about this little boy is his joy.   "Pretty!"  was one of his first words and he uses it frequently.  Sometimes I want to say, "I don't think that word means what you think it means."  but I still love that he uses it.  He uses it when a waiter sets a meal that Jaden really loves on the table, or when he sees his JieJie drive by, or when I gave him his quilt, and yes even when he sees a butterfly or flower.   (I know it isn't based on appearance because he used it when his GeGe gave him the really hideous, crocodile lego people.)  It really means, in Jadenese, "God is good!" or something close to that.  It isn't really "Thank you!"  because it isn't really directed at the person that just made him happy.  It just sparkles with joy, every single time he says it.  I hope to hear lots of it on the ship.   Both hotel rooms have been "Pretty!" and Six Flags (as seen from the highway) was also an excited, "Pretty!"

We chose to drive rather than fly so that we could break the trip up a little and so far that has proven to be a good choice.  He has mostly just checked out the scenery and not-surprisingly, slept.  He has done some reading, which is just too cute.  He will put his serious face on and stare at a page for several minutes and then turn the page.  His current favorite is "The Emperor's New Groove" book.  He has seen the movie and so I'm sure that helps.  We brought lots of DVD's but he has only watched one so far.  My older two were always good travelers but as this was going to be his first extended time in a car seat, we were a little nervous.  He has done exceptionally well.  The only melt-down has been when we made a seat switch.  Baba is definitely his favorite person and when Baba changed out of the drivers seat but didn't squeeze into the back seat with him, someone was not a happy camper.  After some tears and the compromise that he could hold Baba's hand for a while, all was well again.  He does the oddest thing when he is upset.  He squeezes his eyes together so that he can't see what is going on and will sometimes even pinch his eyelids together with his fingers.  I guess it is his own little escape until he can deal with the disappointment or anger when he is ready.

One of the hardest adjustments I've had is not getting used to having a 3 year old again but getting used to not being the primary parent.  Jaden has had to learn that it is ok to love more than one person at a time.  He didn't seem to know how to divide his love and keep both pieces whole.  (That is the mystery of love isn't it?  Somehow, not having lots of family to love, he missed out on that lessson in the orphanage.)  He would clearly love me when it was just the two of us, or just the two of us out around other non-family but when Baba was in the room, that love for me shrunk considerably.  Luckily for me, it did balloon back to normal when Baba left again.  Jaden has hurt his sibs and my feelings with this behavior on and off since we got back to the States.  (No flaming please, I know he is a ittle one but having love suddenly removed hurts even if you understand the root of it.)  This last week has seen tremendous improvement in that.  He has begun to put my hand in Tim's and then kiss them.  Last night he corrected Baba when he didn't think he blessed me after a sneeze.  I loved it!  It not only showed me that the manners we are trying to work on are sinking in but it showed that my feelings. (I play sad if he forgets to bless me) mattered more than his worry of offending Tim for reminding him to bless me.  (Wow, that was a convoluted sentence!)  Last night, I announced to the family that I was going to take a nice relaxing bath and that I'd like a little privacy.  You wouldn't think you'd have to say that but Mitch is the only one in the family that isn't prone to joining me in the bathroom.  When Jaden heard me running the bath, he came running.  I'm not above using his preference for Baba and so asked if he wouldn't rather play with Baba to which he replied, "Nope!  This is Mama and Jade bath!"  Well ok.  How could I resist that?

I'll try to add some pics but everyone else is currently sleeping and so it may have to be later.
Blessings and thanks for being a part of Jaden's life.  :)

Memory Quilt

It's finished!!!

I've been working on Jaden's memory quilt, or 100 wishes Quilt, since before he came home.  Tonight I got to actually give it to him.  I had let him choose a couple of cloth squares to add to it and I let him pick the backing and edging cloth, hoping that he would at least enjoy those initially.   My thought that was when he was older perhaps the whole thing would be special to him.  He really surprised me when I gave it to him tonight.  He got so excited!  He was dancing and saying "Yea!" and "XieXie!" and just wallowing all over it.  He laid it out on the floor and had me and Baba lay down with him under it and then would rearrange it and start all over.  It was so much fun to watch.  When he finally settled down for the night, he took it with him and he is now asleep under his blanket.  I think he felt not only the love from me for stitching it together but from all of you who spent your time selecting a square just for him.
Thanks to everyone who contributed a quilt square, each of you contributed to his great joy today.  XieXie, friends.

PS:
I left wide margins on the plain brown borders to add tumbling squares in case anyone else wanted to send a square.  :)

180+ words ... and 100 days as a US citizen

We are often asked how Jaden's English is coming along, and we had been guessing about how many words he could say in English.  Our guesses had gotten up to about 80 words or so.  Well, the other day we started a list, and we are at 180 words that he knows well and speaks clearly on his own. 

Plus, he understands many many many more words than those we put on the list.  Sometimes it is surprising what he understands. 

There are times that we will say something to him not really expecting him to know what we are saying, and he will pause and process and then respond in a way that makes it clear that he understands what we meant.

He has really enjoyed having his Jiejie and his Gege home from school.  It had been a source of confusion to him that they would come and go for several days at a time during their school days, but he really has been happy to have them home on a more regular basis now!



He had has fun going with Gege to Gege's room and finding Lego toys that Mitch had put together years ago ... Jaden has a tendency to de-construct them, though, and he will spend hours working on rearranging them into new (and sequentially smaller) creations.

 Church has continued to be a bit of a challenge, but he is doing as well as any three year old who is asked to sit through a church service can do.  It is a bit more of a challenge for him, though, due not just to the language issue but also due to the fact the he wants to be up on the platform with Baba and Gege as they play in the praise band.  (When Mitch was out of town the Sunday before finals week Jaden went up before the service and played drums, and it was obvious that he has been watching his Gege :-)).

Our church has lots of stuffed animals spread out on the seats for kids to play with.  One Sunday when the praise team starting singing, Jaden decided the wanted a sheep and a kangaroo to play with, so he started asking for them ... and before long those animals started making their way up row by row as people passed them forward for him.  Quite cute.



As a final note, yesterday marked Jaden's 100th day as a U.S. citizen.  It is said that adoptees become U.S. citizens when they touch American soil, so when we landed in Chicago in February we carried him off of the plane so we would be able to get the moment in a picture.  Well, he didn't want to be put down, so as he laughed we ended up tilting him over backwards so that his head touched the ground, and that was when he became a U.S. citizen.  Unorthodox, perhaps, but cute nonetheless.  :-)