One month since Gotcha Day. (Mostly by Tim)

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One month ago we first met Jaden.  I had to pause as I typed that and consider it ... it seems hard to believe that it has already been a month, but it also seems so hard to believe that it has only been a month.  It is difficult to remember a time when we did not have our three children

One thing is for certain though:  each day has been a blessing, and each day we have been blessed with Jaden's amazing smile!

 

Our transition has gone smoother than any visions we had.  Tracy had done so much research and reading and had followed many adoption stories, so we had heard about the multitude of challenges / problems that other families had experienced.  We read, though, and talked a lot about how we would handle various issues which might come up during Gotcha and in the days following this and also issues that might come up once we got home.  So far things have gone much smoother than we could have ever hoped.  All along we have been incredibly blessed!



One issue that we are having to address is his dental status.  As we got pictures during the months of waiting, we were able to see dental problems developing including his two front teeth.  Well, when we got home our dentist took a look at him.  Jaden did great with that visit (kuddos to Dr. Yaerger and Jayme ... their office was great!), but our dentist recognized that it would take multiple visits to get his cavities all addressed and recommended that we take Jaden to a pediatric dentist.  He recommended someone in Tulsa, so we took Jaden there last week.  Jaden really likes to flirt with women, and the pediatric dentist is a young lady so that helped.  Their office was great, too, and Jaden did really well there.  In fact, they were surprised at how well he did, including letting them take x-rays without any problem.  He tends to get a little nervous in any type of medical settings (due to his two prior surgeries while he was still an orphan), and it was an extended exam.  They took lots of time with him, then did the exam, then the x-rays, then we reviewed the x-rays and talked about options, and then they had to deal with our insurance company.  Well,  after about 90 minutes in the room Jaden was ready to GO!  He was not being difficult, but it was clear that he was getting more and more nervous.  We finally set up the treatment plan and we were free to go ... Jaden did his happy dance when we left the office and danced all the way to the parking lot.  When we got to the car he kissed it.  He was very happy to be able to ride away from there!

The dental treatment plan includes six root canals (four full and two partial) plus two other cavities that will be filled.  This will all be addressed in one visit by having this done at St Francis Hospital in the surgery suite.  While we don't like the idea of going to surgery, I do not think that it is reasonable to expect him to sit through six root canals over the course of four visits.

One of the other things that the dentist recommended is that we floss Jaden's teeth to prevent further development of cavities in some at-risk areas .  What 3 year old wants to have his teeth flossed?  Jaden Sanford, that's who!  He loves it, and will even bring us the dental floss sometimes to get flossed!

Jaden is facing the daunting prospect of having to learn an entirely new language, but he seems to take learning new things in stride.  His pronunciation of English words continues to improve every week, and he is understanding even more than he is able to say.  At the same time, though, he is losing his Mandarin, which is sad to see but is a necessary part of his development; at times he gets stuck on a Mandarin word and will either repeat one word over and over or will pause.  He hasn't lost all of his Mandarin, though.  In fact, he recently he made a pun using English and Mandarin together.  We have been spending more and more time looking at books / reading, and the other night I used Google Translate to tell him that "later you and I will look at books together" which translates as "houlai wo he ni yiqi kan kan shu" ... "kan kan shu" means "look at book" ... the word for book is "shu" which is pronounced just like "shoe"... well, he grinned, pointed to my shoes, and said "kan kan" (look) and then started cracking up ... basically he was making a pun using two languages, saying he was looking at my shoes already :-)

The First Week

We've been home a week.  :)

Jaden's first week has been a success.  Most of the things we worried about have just not come to pass.  We worried that he would not appreciate being given a new name--he loves it and proudly uses it.  We worried he would be afraid of the cats--he loves them and it is reciprocated and the dog--his response was to seeing Dug was "Ni hao, gou!"  or "Hello, dog!".  We were afraid we would have a hard time feeding him--with help of Auntie (who is from Thailand) we are learning the ins and outs of rice cooking and otherwise he does fine with his meals.  We worried he would have a hard time attaching to one or more of us--no problems there either, he knows who his family is and seems to love us all.  He had his first family dinner with NaiNai and YeYe and did great, he agrees that NaiNai is a great cook!

His language skills are beginning.  He can say several words already, just one week home.  He can say mama, baba, cat, kitty, please (ok, it sounds more like "peas" but he's getting there), stop, go, "Oh Tootles!" (it's a Mickey Mouse thing), monkey, milk, nose.  Hmm, I know there are others but you get the point.  I wish he had been in one of the few orphanages that taught him a little English but he is learning.  I think he finally gets that there are 2 words for each thing and that is a huge step.

We have down loaded some Disney music videos in Mandarin and he loves those.  Those that know us, know that we are essentially a no-TV family.  When the world went HDTV, we just didn't.  We stopped watching TV when Tim and I were in med school and have definitely not regretted it.  Unfortunately, it was Jaden's only entertainment in China and so I think he misses it.  As a compromise, we let him watch the music videos some and we have been watching some DVD's in English (fyi-he loves Aladdin and Mulan) and have a Sesame street video that he has seen once or twice.  I really believe that if I had cartoons on and let him, he would watch for hours.

He is enjoying exploring his new home.  Today we have spent time exploring the garage, the front yard, and the patio.  He is still a little uncomfortable with the feel of grass under his shoes.  I don't believe he had any time to speak of out of doors.  He loves his ride on toys both the little bike my staff gave him and a little Pooh ride on that has a horn that he honks constantly (obviously, his trips in the vehicles in China ingrained that need to honk!).  He found a Duplo wagon today in the garage and has decided it makes a wonderful cart for mom to pull, with him in it of course.

He still collects his important things of the day.  Today, it is "his" otter (sorry, Mitch), his family book and his Disney cars.  I enjoy seeing that his precious objects have moved from being things I would consider necessities to things meant for fun.  Still the family book for comfort but I'm ok with that.  He hasn't held a fork as dear for a few days now and I see that as progress.  I think he is learning that Mama and Baba will provide the needed things for him.

He had his first Chinese New Year here a few days ago.  It was the first time he saw other China-born kiddos here.  He and Jessa had a great time playing.  He chatted with her as if she should understand him but didn't seem overly frustrated that she didn't.  She was great with him.  At just 5, it would have been easy for her to resent the attention he was getting but she didn't.  She was so cute; as she would pull things out of her toy box, she would say, "Oh, I think he'll really like this one!" and give it to him.  Hopefully, the start of a good friendship.  He wasn't overly impressed with the fireworks, the train set in the house was much more fun.  He didn't seem overwhelmed by the number of people there but all of us were adoptive families and I think it helped that everyone was aware of the potential for his anxiety and nobody swamped him with attention.  He really started to show his personality after a little while.

As a mama, I'm having to adjust to the fact that I now have a toddler again.  Oops.  I didn't think through this part of it as well as I should have.  I should have worked on my arms a little more, they are noodles sometimes by the end of his "I need to be carried" times.  I should have de-cluttered my house more; I had forgotten just how much "stuff" a toddler adds to the mix.  I should have de-cluttered my life more, I had forgotten how exhausting this phase is.  Yesterday, I worked in the morning, taught in the afternoon and had a church meeting that went fairly long.  Tim and Jaden had lots of together time as Tim didn't work (out of the house) at all yesterday.  Our alternating schedules will work fine for keeping Jaden with only family but life has just gotten a lot busier!

We have our first post-placement social work visit today.  Hopefully Jaden will get a nap today, otherwise 3 o'clock could be a little tough.  Our social worker is great though, I think she'll overlook a little toddler temper if needed.

Jaden is an amazing little boy.  We're going to try to enjoy every step of this incredible journey; we've had a great start.

Blessings y'all.

We're home!

Well, Jaden missed an awesome homecoming.  :)

The trip went great!  Jaden did really, really well other than just not sleeping. 

We got up at 6:30 am in Hong Kong and got the room packed up the rest of the way.  We ate breakfast at the hotel and Tim and I laughed a little that this was the last time he would see fish, noodles and baked beans at a breakfast buffet.  We left for the airport by about 9am and got settled in to our gate and waited for 3 hours to leave.  Jaden had really objected to the seat belt on the Nanjing to Guangzhou flight a week ago and I was not looking forward to that battle on a 14 hour flight instead of just 2 hours from last time.  There was a Chinese gentleman sitting to Tim's left that spoke Mandarin that we asked to explain to Jaden that there would be times that Jaden would have to wear his belt but that sometimes we could let him take it off.  Jaden sat right down and let us put the belt on without any fuss when the time came.  The steward brought him a juice box and an activity kit to try to make things easier but we never even busted into the the play set on the whole flight.  Jaden did give us back the snack and the juice box about 5 minutes into the flight.  Luckily, we had packed a change in outfit.  :)  If I had it to do over, that would have been the perfect excuse to give him the phenergan we had packed and maybe he actually would have had some real sleep on the plane!  In the entire 22 hours of travel time, he slept for 3 hours-- 1.5 hour nap on the long flight and about that for the second. 

Unfortunately, he was asleep when we landed in Tulsa and never really left that foggy, cranky thing he does when he first wakes up.  He was cheerful and perky the entire trip, until we got home.  Oh, well.  Tim and I really appreciated our welcoming committee!  We had about 15 people, balloons, a welcome sign and a cranky new American citizen. 

As expected, Jaden did not like being in a car seat.  We knew that would be a bummer for him and we got to see that temper for about 20 minutes of the 45 minute ride home.  I certainly did not enjoy the car ride home but am absolutely thankful that he showed that frustration and temper in the car and not in the airplane.  I don't think he was ever really fully awake.  When we got home, Laura carried him in to our bed and the 3 of us crashed.  Maybe at about 7 pm?  At 3:30 am Jaden started stirring and we all got up at 4am.  Not a bad start to getting our sleep cycle back in gear.  He was noisy enough that he ended up waking JieJie before she was probably intending to get up but she was an awesome big sister and came down with a smile.  He warmed up to her immediately.  :)  She broke out her white board and dry erase markers and they had fun together.  The timing is a bit of a bummer, she has 3 tests this week and I'm sure will be busier studying than he would like, but this weekend he should get plenty of time with both Gege and JieJie. 

He LOVES the kitties!  He keeps running around looking for the xiao maomi (little kitty).  Let's hope he likes the da gou (big dog) as much when Dug comes home this weekend.  He has been running around all morning exploring the house.  He found a toy that Grandma Nell left here for him and so had to have a bath to try it out.  I am so glad that he enjoys bathing, one less battle.  Now to figure out what on earth to feed this child.  I've got my rice cooker and should have thought to buy the rice before our trip, oops.

Now that we have our little guy home, it is time to try to settle into a new normal.  Wow, I wonder how long that will take?  When I get some pictures uploaded, I'll add them.  Thanks everyone for all the support we have had during this long, amazing journey. 

Blessings, y'all.

The most uninspiring post ever.

Hey y'all. It's Jie Jie (big sister) posting for Mom and Dad. They called and said their flight has been delayed. The current plan is for them to arrive at 5:10 tonight. So, there's that. I know, this is a boring post. I'll let you know if something changes. In the meantime, just keep praying. 'Kay, thanks.
-Laura

Disney pics!

Most of these are from Disney but the one with the luggage was him being anxious about the packing up to leave.  Enjoy!

Coming Home, at last!

It is Sunday February 3rd and we are coming home!  As I type this is is 430 in the afternoon, yesterday for everyone at home.  The funny thing with this leg of the trip is that we are flying with the sun and so time sort of stands still.  We leave at noon on Sunday and after 22 hours of travel, we get in to Tulsa at 4:30 the same day.  It will be a very looong Sunday for us.  Anyone who would like to is welcome to meet us at the Tulsa airport at about 430 pm.  Just know that we may be exhausted and cranky like anyother (parent of  a) 3 year old!  ;)

Yesterday, we went to Hong Kong Disney for the day.  We got free tickets included with our hotel room and weren't sure that we would use them as we weren't sure that he would be able to handle the stimulation.  After his success at the Safari park, we decided to try it.  He did great!  His orphanage was not one that was able to take the kids out on field trips.  As far as we know, the only times he was out of the orphanage for any length of time was the 2 hospitalizations in Shanghai.  He did spend Saturdays with one of the Ayis fairly frequently, so maybe she took him other places.  Regardless, he was a chanp.  He had the normal 3 year old issues.  Disney was very smart when he planned a pass-through of the gift shops after every major ride!  We got away with just one purchase though.  He loves to people watch and is such a flirt!  He can be in a terrible mood but let a pretty girl get in line behind us and he perks right up.  His flirty smile can light a room.  He loved all of the rides and even did Space Mountain!  (Did I mention he is a TALL 3.5 year old?)  We didn't do the parachute drop because I wasn't sure how he would handle that sensation.  We have been in planes, trains and automobiles and let me tell you, most of the taxi drivers here are WAY scarier than the roller coasters.  He loves the crazy driving and so I felt comfortable he would like a small roller coaster.  Maybe when he can speak English and I can explain the ride to him we will try the drop rides.  I can't wait.

He loved all the snacks at Disney.  He has eaten his first chocolate covered, Mickey-shaped ice-crearm.  He is a slow eater and tends to savor every single lick.  Some of the other former-orphans that we've been around tend to gobble and I doubt he has had many sweets in his life but he did great.  One of the other littles is much, much slower than Jaden; she tends to chew each bite oh, about 100 times.  It makes her daddy nuts!  (Any better on this Katie?)  She is a tiny little doll Jaden's age who weighs 15 lbs less than him.

The only negative at Disney (and I don't count normal, occasional 3 year old whining as terribly negative) was some of the older Chinese folks response to Jaden.  In China, they have very little religion but a lot of tradition.  One of their traditional beliefs is that orphans are unlucky to be around.  (Like losing your parents is contagious right?)  The younger folks don't seem as entrenched in this belief, thank goodness.  Perhaps this will be a thing of the past for coming generations.  Occasionally, I would see an older adult glaring at Jaden.  I have tried to be very respectful of the culture while I am here but this, nope, I can't understand or respect.  Anytime I noticed it, I would step between my child and their line of site and glare back.  Most had the grace to look away.  I think he was oblivious to it. My worry was that someone would say something in Mandarin that he would understand but we wouldn't.  As far as I can tell that never happened to him.  A friend had an older woman say something in Mandarin to her child that set her child back terribly.  I am so glad that didn't happen to Jaden as I don't really want to extend my time here.  I'm thinking Chinese prisons probaby aren't very nice.

I wish I could post a video of Jaden leaving the park.  He was skipping and swinging his arms and then he was laughing like a loon when the crazy taxi driver was taking us back to our hotel at warp speed.  It was so good to see him be just a normal kid.