Thursday, August 22, 2013

Our New Norm

Life has changed again for Jaden Christopher.  Just as he was getting used to life as a Sanford, (coming in to the office everyday, being loved on by family, staff and patients and home again with the 5 of us together most nights) everything has gone topsy-turvy  on him.  He is now a full-time student and spends very little time at the office; Chinese language classes started, Gege and JieJie have both left for school and he is no longer getting an afternoon alone with each parent. Like I said, EVERYTHING has changed again.  His "Aunties" at work really miss his smiling face and silliness.  Work is a little less fun without him and my staff have been reminding my of that.  I knew he was missing them too but last night he reminded us by saying, "Jaben didn't go to work today...I'm sad."  We made sure to get him to the office today for some reconnect time after school.  He was so happy to see everyone, I loved the big smile on his face.

So far, Pre-K couldn't be going any better!  He loves his teacher and seems happy to go each day.  One of the little girls in his class is a little, ummm assertive?  He calls her Little Teacher.  Not in a negative way, he just seems to think that she is also employed by the school and he is okay with that.  :)  It is such a blessing that he enjoys it!  He is clearly already benefiting; he is less hesitant to color and cut and his English is still growing by leaps and bounds.  He has not benefited from the exposure to the viral load in school.  He has picked up a cold and it is awful to see his poor little chapped nose.   

Jaden has done a remarkable job with the changes but you can tell that he is having some stress with it.  For a day or two (or three) after Chinese class, his English suffered.  He had stopped slipping back into Chinese when he was excited or in a hurry and he has started that a little bit again.  Jaden clearly was unsure about a large gathering of Chinese pongyou.  Lots of Chinese children all gathered in one place with a lot of Chinese speaking adults=one nervous Jaden.  He clung pretty tightly.  Tim and I made it a big point to reassure him that we would all be going home after class together and kept telling him things we would do after class so that he would understand that we had no intention of leaving him there.  If he keeps having this much stress with the lesson time, I won't force him to go.  I would love to see him keep his Mandarin language skills but I am not willing to force him to at the expense of his emotional well-being.  For now, we are just taking a "wait and see" approach.  Hopefully, he will come to feel comfortable and perhaps even comforted by hearing his native tongue.  He has been very restless at night, much like he was in the first few weeks.  It is hard to tell if it is the stress or the cold.  Neither is much fun for him.


We have had lots of wonderful examples of his bonding with us in the last week.  I was thrilled, nearly to the point of tears, when I picked him up at school Monday afternoon.  He saw me walk in the waiting area and squealed "That's my Mama!" and ran and jumped in my arms.  After an awesome neck squeeze, he turned to his teacher, Ms Wann, and reiterated, "This is MY Mama!"  and then hopped down ready to leave.  That night at dinner when we got ready to say the blessing, he looked at his sibs empty chairs and said, "Where is my...oh."  He looked a little sad that Laura and Mitch weren't joining us for dinner.  As is our tradition, we asked Jaden who was going to say the blessing.  (He enjoys "assigning" that task.)  To our surprise, for the first time ever, he said he wanted to; this is what followed:
              "Thank you for my JieJie and my Gege.  XieXie God!  Amen"

 Sweet boy.    He has certainly changed the rhythm of our lives.  ;)


Thank you, God, for adding this little man to our family.

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