A logical question.

Maybe we haven't made as much headway in Jaden's understanding as we thought...
Today Jaden was at the office with us since Pre-K is out.  He loves to see patients with us and sometimes patients even request "Dr. Jaden."  Today when he was seeing a patient, the person with them mentioned that yesterday was their birthday.  Jaden's amazed response:  Are you Jesus?!

Jaden's first Christmas!!!

Tim's input for this Christmas:

Merry Christmas, everyone. As we celebrate this wonderful day I have been reflecting a bit on the blessings and gifts of the past year. Without a doubt, bringing Jaden home has been our greatest gift this year.

At about 4:30 this morning Jaden started stirring in his bed. He sleeps alone but will often stir during the night, and when he does I go in to lie down with him. This morning I went in with last night's message from the Candlelight Service ringing clearly in my mind: We should receive our gifts (the pastor was specifically referring to the gift of the Christ child and the gift of salvation) with enthusiasm and joy.

"Merry Christmas" I whispered as I lay down next to Jaden. "Merry Christmas" was the response I got, accompanied with his sweet smile. Then he snuggled up next to me and drifted back to sleep.

Merry Christmas indeed!

This has been a unique Christmas season for all of us. It is Jaden's first Christmas home, which means that it really is his first Christmas. Christmas is not recognized at all by most people in China, and certainly it is a non-event in the orphanages.

That was the thought that was in my mind as I went to sleep last night, and it is such a sad thought. Due to the time difference (China is one big time zone and is 14 hours ahead of us), our Christmas Eve is their Christmas morning. Christianity is making headway in China, but it is with a heavy heart that I realize that most children in China are not given the gift of Christmas and its meaning ... yet.

But Jaden Christopher Sanford has been given that gift!

One of the challenges for us this Christmas has been to try to help him have some understanding of what Christmas really means. This was a little tough, though, because where do you start? We have mainly focused on the idea that this is a celebration of Jesus' birth. He is used to praying to God before meals (and sometimes prayers at bedtime, although for some reason when we do evening prayers he wants to be a puppy dog and make sure that we pray for the puppy dog (???) ), and so we explained to him that God had a son named Jesus and that is why we are having Christmas ... as a celebration of the child's birth. Jaden seems happy with that explanation, really liking the idea of a father and a son. Down the road we will be able to tie that to the Father and the Son.

A few weeks ago we got the gift of a light-up nativity set, and when we set it out Jaden was asking about it. Tracy was explaining who everyone was in the set, and Jaden decided to set up his superhero figures around the manger ... I'm not sure if they were adoring or protecting the baby, but regardless it was adorable.

　

A big part of Christmas is gifts, but the greatest gift that Jaden has received has been the fact that his Gege and his JieJie are home from their "school houses." Mitch finished finals first and has been home for more than a week, and Laura finished last Wednesday and has been home since Thursday. Jaden has been overjoyed having us all together. When Mitch got home, Jaden was so excited and wanted to spend LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of time with his Gege! Mitch came home on a Friday night, which is when he usually comes home and so Jaden was expecting him to be here ... but was overjoyed to find out that Mitch did not have to go back to school for several weeks.

We were not sure what time Laura would be getting home on Thursday, so we did not tell Jaden when she was coming home. When he came in from the office, though, she was here and when he saw her he shrieked with joy and said, "Laura, I missed you!!!"

And since then he has been SO HAPPY. When we are all in the same room he glows with joy! Family is the gift that he needed more than anything else.

But of course a big part of a child's Christmas is related to gifts. We made a conscious effort to avoid overdoing the gifts, but that hasn't meant that he is deprived :-)



The first material gift he got was one that he found "hidden" in a closet that he never goes in. He was in Laura's room and asked her where a toy they were playing with had come from. She mentioned that it had been in her closet, and he asked if he could look in there. She did not know that Mitch's main present to Jaden was in there, and his cry of "Wow" alerted her to the fact that something unexpected was there. Gege said he could go ahead and open it, and it was a really cool castle which has interactive sounds etc. Jaden has spent HOURS playing with it.

 

 
JieJie was so excited about it (she is still a kid at heart) that she went online and found a couple of toys that are of the same style and ordered them, and so his next big toy was a dinosaur. More HOURS of playing with toys with lots of dinosaur attacks on the castle etc.

(And Jaden even watched Sleeping Beauty for inspiration on play with his dragon and castle.)

 


While we are enjoying Christmas greatly, we still have the awareness that one of our family is still not here. Our little Katie is still in her orphanage in Chengdu, and so there is still that hole in our hearts as we are waiting to get her home.

Many of you know that the ladybug is the symbol of Chinese adoption. In the fall we had a swarm of ladybugs in our home, but they had cleared out lately. As Jaden and I were playing "dinosaur attacks castle" yesterday we had a ladybug crawl up to us! And then last night at church Tracy saw another ladybug. It's like she is saying "I'll be there soon"

We did get a mini-update on Katie the other day. Her current name is Long Qi Ying, and here is the update we got.

"Long Qi Ying is doing very well. She is physically healthy and doesn't get sick very much. She can now walk on her own. She can say Ba Ba, Ma Ma and other one syllable words. Despite her limb difference, she is very nimble and flexible. She can pick up toys and small snacks and feed herself crackers. She is very bright. She can understand simple instructions and responds appropriately. She can waive good-bye. Her height is 74cm, weight is 8.5 kg, head size is 44cm, chest size is 44cm, length of her feet is 12cm and she has 10 teeth."

She is 18 months old now and weighs 18 pounds. With those measurements she would be the size of an average 8 1/2 month old American child. How we ache to get her home! She looks so solemn in all of her pictures, and every time I look at her I keep thinking how much she needs hugs and kisses.

During the afternoon of Christmas Eve Jaden and I were ... yep, you guessed it ... still playing with the castle and dinosaur and the little men that came with them.  

The little man that came with the dinosaur had been the "bad guy" all day long and the guys that came with the castle were the "good guys." The dinosaur had really been enjoying chewing on the good guys.

Jaden has conversations between the characters while he plays, and after being picked on all day long, one of the good guys told the bad guy "You need to go to church." Hilarious. What happened after that was even better, though. Jaden had the good guy and the bad guy get in a "car" and go to the church together. After that the "bad guy" wasn't so mean any more. Too cute!

 
Laura has always been our wrapping princess, but this year she has had a helper.

　

 
One of the things that we knew about Jaden, but that has really been emphasized in the past few days, is the fact that he cannot handle sugar very well. He does not get much sugar normally in his diet, and when he does get some he gets quite the sugar high! Ummm ... Laura ... maybe straight sugar is not the best thing?

 

　

Last night was the Candlelight Service, and as I referred to earlier the main message was that we should actively and joyfully receive the gift of Christmas. The example that our pastor used was that we should receive the gift of Christ and our salvation with the enthusiasm of a child. After the service we went to NieNie's house, and Jaden demonstrated what enthusiasm should look like.

He was thrilled with every present that he got, and he wanted to play with them right away. But what was really cute was that he was as excited for everyone else who got a present as he was for his own presents. He got to deliver the presents, and he often wanted to stand right with family as they opened their gifts.

 And through it all, Jaden also greatly enjoys his gift of family!

 As I type this Christmas morning, Jaden, Mitch and Laura are watching one of Jaden's presents (Despicable Me 2) and laughing together. I can't help but smile as I hear them.

But now it is time for more Christmas celebration in the Sanford family.

Merry Christmas to all.

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A couple of weeks ago I put an entry on the Facebook site for Love Without Boundaries, the foundation that works to improve the health and lives of orphans in China. It was an organization that was started by an adoptive Mom who realized that so much needed to be done for the orphans and had the realization that something COULD be done! It is a great organization, but it is especially dear to me because they paid for Jaden's two surgeries while he was still in China. Without surgery his orphanage director would have never put him on the list for possible adoption, and without that Jaden would still be Hai FuXing and would still be in an orphanage without hope of ever being adopted.

Anyway, I have included that post below (for anyone who is not on Facebook).

　

　

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All I want for Christmas

This time of year a common question is "what do you want for Christmas?" Until recently my response when my family would ask me this was either (1) to provide a list of items that I wanted or (2) to promise that I would get back to the them with an answer.

In more recent years that question has been more and more difficult because let’s face it, there’s just not much "stuff" that I need any more. Some years I would recognize this and realize that this means that I am blessed. I would comment something to the effect that I did not need much, but I would always manage to come up with a list of things just the same.

In the past couple of years I recognized that perhaps I needed to start thinking of others at this time of year, and so I would ask that a sheep or a goat be donated to someone in some far-off place … but don’t worry … I would be sure to come up with stuff for me on my list also.

This year, though, my answer to "what do you want for Christmas" is easy. I can give my answer immediately.

But before I give the answer … some background is needed.

We brought our son Jaden home from China 10 months ago when he was a few months short of 4 years old. That means that he spent Christmas 2012 in China.

But of course to him, Christmas was just another day in the orphanage. To most people in China, Christmas is a non-event. (Why celebrate Christmas if you’ve never even heard of Christ? But that is a different thought for a different day). Regardless, he and millions of other orphans spent that Christmas day without their most important need being met … the need to be with a forever family.

But let’s go back even farther in time.

In May 2009 our son Jaden was born. It was surely with horror that his mother realized that he was born with a urogenital medical condition … a medical condition which in the United States would be considered an inconvenience, but in China can be viewed as a curse on the family. And even if his family wanted to help him, they would not be able to afford the medical bills for his surgical care, bills which realistically might be more than a full year’s worth of income.

So he was abandoned at 12 days of age with nothing but a blanket and a note saying "we hope that someone kind can help him." He was taken to the local orphanage and given the name Hai FuXing, a name which would forever brand him as an orphan and would forever limit his potential for a bright future. He was named for the city he was found in (Haimen City) and the apartment complex he was abandoned in (FuXing Apartments), and for his entire life anyone who ever met him would realize that he had been an orphan. (It would be like meeting someone named Tulsa WalMart … clearly not a "normal" name.)

His medical condition was urogenital in nature, which in the United States might be a little awkward to discuss but would have simply been addressed and fixed. Once the surgeries were done, he would have been able to live with his parents happily ever after. But in the eyes of his Chinese orphanage directors (because of their culture and their indwelling belief system) his urogenital issue made him unadoptable.

So rather than try to put him on the list to be considered for adoption, he stayed in the orphanage.

I have been in his orphanage. It is very clean. The workers do what they can. But they have their hands so full with mentally challenged and autistic kids that I can assure you that Hai FuXing was basically ignored.

He spent 3 years, 6 months and 30 days in that orphanage.

In Christmas 2009 I was still making lists just like I had for so many years. Christmas came and went and I had no idea that I had a son in China. Yet there he was: not knowing anything about Christmas or the reason it exists, not knowing about love or about family, and not even having the potential to be listed for adoption due to his medical condition.

Christmas 2010 … ditto

But in 2011 a miracle occurred. Love Without Boundaries agreed to pay for the surgeries for his medical condition … with the understanding that he would then be listed for adoption. This likely seemed like a foreign idea to his orphanage director, but the agreement was made and after his first surgery Jaden was listed for the Special Needs adoption program. (The orphanage director later told us that due to having a urogenital issue, they felt that he was not even appropriate for the foster care system … even AFTER his two surgeries had been done to totally resolved his condition!)

Who paid for Jaden’s surgeries? People who donated to Love Without Boundaries.
· Did they know him? Nope
· Will they ever meet him? Probably not
· Could they have spent their money elsewhere, even on some worthy cause? Yep.

But they gave to LWB, and because of their generosity our son is home. As I am typing this, he is playing on the floor next to me and laughing and enjoying life! He has a mama and a baba (daddy) and a jie jie (older sister) and a gege (older brother) and a nai nia (grandmother) and a ye ye (grandfather) … and he has a mei mei (little sister) who is in an orphanage in China and should be coming home in the Spring of 2014!

In 2012 by the grace of God working through a series of events and a series of people, we were able to get matched with our son for adoption. Without LWB and those who support LWB, our son would be in an orphanage again this year. He would not know it is Christmas. He might have gone his entire life without hearing about the reason for Christmas. He would be getting closer and closer to the unadoptable age of 14, and closer and closer to the age of 16 when he would be turned out into the streets with a name that labeled him as a cursed orphan and would make him unemployable.

Jaden’s name in the orphanage was Hai Fuxing. We knew early on that we were not going to keep any part of that name. We knew that we would be using the first name of Jaden for him but were unsure of what his middle name would be. In their files and requests for donations, LWB used the name "Christopher" for him. In honor and appreciation to LWB, his middle name is Christopher.

I am pleased to show you Jaden Christopher Sanford !

So back to the original question. What do I want for Christmas ??? The answer is easy … Anything that supports Love Without Boundaries.

The wonderful thing is that LWB has many programs available to choose from, so donors can find a cause that speaks to their hearts. LWB has programs designed for:
* the sick
* the malnourished and underfed
* those who will not get an education without the help of a LWB program
* dental care (Orphanges traditionally do not do anything for dental care, and when our son came home at 3 years of age he had to have 6 root canals and multiple fillings)
* those who at-risk of being separated from their families due to medical issues.

Are you looking for a way to make your gifts meaningful this year? Think LWB!

To everyone involved in Love Without Boundaries, I say THANK YOU.

To everyone who has ever donated to Love Without Boundaries, I say THANK YOU. Without you my son would still be in an orphanage this Christmas, and I would not even know that he existed.

How many other children are in orphanages right now that can be helped, that can be made "adoptable" or can be supported in a way that allows them to eventually find their forever family?

How many might never be adopted but yet can still be given the gift of a better life through the some of the programs of LWB?

When we told Jaden that we were going back to China to adopt again, we were a little concerned that he might be jealous or feel that he was in some way being replaced. His response was priceless, though. When we told him that there is a little girl in China who does not have a mama or a baba, he got very sad … he held his head with his hands, shook his head no, and said over and over "oh no, oh no" … He was absolutely crushed by the idea that there would be a single child anywhere without a family. If only we all had such a view of those in need! It was very humbling.

One of the keys that led me to become more aware of the need to do something about orphans was the song "I Refuse" by Josh Wilson … "Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and act like everyone’s alright, when I know they’re not" … may we all remember that when we are making our lists for Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

OOT!!

Whoot! 
Those who have been following along since Jaden may remember this terminology but for those with short term memory issues like me, we are officially Out of Translation!  That means that China has all of our documentation translated into Chinese and it is ready to be matched to Katie's file.  With Jaden that meant we got LOA (the letter saying he was ours) in about 2 weeks.  Some people wait much longer and in the adoption world, you never know if you are going to be on the 20 day end or the 120 day end.  We are hoping that we are on the short end again.  :)

Usually when you get LOA you travel within about 8 weeks.  Prayers appreciated for a quick LOA. 

:)

:)