I don't even know where to start. My mind is a raging current, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives. So this will just be a stream of consciousness kind of thing and you guys will just have to try to follow the best you can. (It's probably not a good sign when the most eloquent part of the blog is a Blazing Saddles quote.)
Okay, here we go. Things are different in China and in America. Things I'm still trying to get used to:
1. The driving. In America we have traffic laws. In China they have traffic suggestions. Stop lights? One Way signs? Helmet laws? Police cars with their lights flashing behind you? Only foreigners and sissies pay attention to those. Also, no car seats. To be fair, we've only seen one traffic accident the entire time we've been there.
2. The stares. I'm used to people in America staring when I'm with Jaden and Katie. We either get the "you dang noisy kids" glare or the "aw, cute children" smile. Sometimes the confused "what are the family dynamics here" eyebrow raise. In China, we get some of the "aw cute" looks for the kids, but it seems like the adults get more attention. There's the suspicious "did you steal those Asian children?" look, the behind the hand "look, Americans!" whisper, and my personal favorite, the "oops, I was just taking a selfie, I didn't know there was a blonde girl behind me" picture. I wonder how many pictures of us there are floating around China right now.
3. The food. Surprisingly, I don't eat a lot of lotus root at home. David, our guide, did a pretty good job of guessing what we would eat, and the food has been tasty everywhere we've gone, but man, what I wouldn't give for some mashed potatoes and gravy.
On a different topic, I've had the best gig during this trip. I get to play with the littles, but I don't have the parental responsibilities. I can choose what I want to eat, and somebody else pays for it. Mom gets reservations at these amazing hotels, Dad hauls the suitcases, and I just goof around until I get tired, then I go to sleep. It's awesome. I would highly recommend it.
Okay. Mom's ready to write, I think. Peace out, y'all.
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