Nanjing, Jiangsu

I've just realized that we are in CHINA!  Hehe.  I mean, really, I know that we are here but yesterday walking around really made we realize how far away from home we are.  I took almost no pictures and mostly just soaked it in.  We really enjoyed people watching.  Several people stopped and did a double take when they saw us, very funny!  Not that Tim stands out at all, a 6'3" very pale white man with a biggish nose.  (Okay, not really but comparatively. )  I loved watching some of the school girls we saw nudge each other and casually turn around and walk back toward us to get another look.  Several giggled and said a very accented "Hello"  Loved it.   Tim and I both found ourselves watching the little boys, wondering if he was Jaden's age or size, and also watching the teen boys, wondering if Jaden will look something like that as he gets older.
All that to say, I am a terrible blogger.  We are in a beautiful place and only got a handful of pics.  I'll post what I have and will try to do better today.  We are going to the City Wall today.  Our guide is from Nanjing and is very proud of her city.  I expect she will have lots to tell us.

We are staying in the heart of the "old city" and much of the architecture is pretty traditional.  We can see the high rises from our windows too.  It is an interesting juxtaposition of old and new.

Zaijian!

T minus 40 hours

Tim's input for the day

We have had a day of continuing to adjust to the new time zone and trying to get our minds around the concept that Jaden will be with us soon.

The day started with a mini-picnic in the room at 4 AM local time (2 PM body time) consisting of crackers and left-over chicken, and has continued through the day as we stop trying to think about what time it is at home and we try to get our bodies onto the new schedule in preparation for Monday.

We are scheduled to meet Jaden at 9:30 AM Monday, which means that we are now less than 40 hours away!

We have been selecting a few toys and snacks to bring with us to Gotcha Day and have been sorting his clothes that we brought with us.  Fortunately we brought several coat options, because we will have to keep him well bundled in public. This is necessary to prevent concerned Chinese people from descending on us to educate us about the dangers of children not being dressed warmly enough.

We had heard plenty abou the Chinese tendency to bundle up their kids in many many many many  layers in the belief that this will prevent illness.  We got to see that in action today on the streets of Nanjing as we walked along the river and through the markets.  Some of the kids had so many layers that they literally could not bend their arms.  And yet some of them have split pants, with selected body parts (which I would think would be especially susceptible to the cold) just hanging out ... rather odd.

I have to say, though, that it has been fun interacting with the Chinese people. They have all been very friendly and gracious.  There are definitely cultural differences, though.  My first experience with this was in the Nanjing airport where I realized that the "personal space bubble" of most Chinese people appears to be essentially non-existant!  There was lots of jostling at the baggage claim, none of which was in any way directed at me since everyone was pressing against everyone else.

Ordering food today at the counter was the same way.  It felt a lot like more like I was trying to maintain my position at a general admission rock concert than trying to pick up two chicken sandwiches.

We got a suprise today when we got an email with a few new pictures of Jaden.  The pictures are blurry and don't show the normal happy grin that we are used to seeing.  I know it has Tracy worried that Jaden is anxious about the coming changes.  Not to mention he apparently has had a recent (bad) haircut.  From the other pictures it looks like all of them had the same "barber" and so at least we know it wasn't because he was leaving.  ;)

Tonight we are going to go out and wander around the outdoor markets again, enjoying the freedom to look around ... because very soon our eyes will have to stay focused on a particular child!

Gotcha Time is set for Monday at 9:30 AM in Nanjing, which is 7:30 PM on Sunday in Oklahoma ... prayers prayers prayers please!



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We made it to Hong Kong!

We're here!!!  It is Friday morning here in Hong Kong and it is very cool to be on the same time zone as Jaden!  The flights were very easy and other than that first blip of our OKC to LAX being broken, there were no problems at all.  I have to admit though, with each long wait in line, or wait for food or drinks or bumpy flight, I wondered how different the trip will be with a 3 year old with almost no world experience.  Wow, prayers please.  :)  Do you remember looking down at your very large belly when 9 months pregnant and thinking..."Um ok.  What have I gotten myself into?"  I'm thinking the flight home may be a little like that journey.  Wonderful outcome with some painful hours in the beginning.

I can't believe that Jaden only has 3 nights left in his orphanage!  Isn't that an incredible thought?

Tim's writings / thoughts for the day: As we were sitting in the airport in LA last night I was thinking about distances and how amazing it is to be able to travel such distances to get our son!

  At the start of the journey we were 11,589 miles away from Jaden

  By Wed night in LA we were down to 10,445 miles 

  Well, right now we are in Hong Kong and we are 764 miles away.   

  By this evening we should be in Nanjing and we will be 189 miles away.

  And Monday (Sunday night in Oklahoma) that distance will reduce to zero!

Every time we think about Jaden or talk about him we have to worry about how he will be feeling now and in the days to come.  While we have Christ's assurance that in the long run all will be well, Jaden does not have that assurance now. I have to wonder how I would react if someone came into my house and told me that I was moving to a new country, moving away from everyone I've ever know, moving to a new culture where every experience is new ... I can't imagine that I'd be in a great state of mind, or that I would be very happy to see them, or that I would be very much fun to be around ... and that would be looking at it from my perspective and life experiences as an adult.  I cannot begin to imagine what that may be like for him.

I did get a little bit of a boost from the Holy Spirit as we were going through the Honk Kong airport, of all places.  On the escalator there is a sign that says "Take care of children & the elderly."  Thanks God!  

Last minute piece of good news...

We are finishing up packing, printing all the papers that we need to bring with us, running through old to-do lists, and generally running around being a little crazy.  In the midst of all of the last bits of preparation, we got a wonderful piece of news.
The background on this news is that a few months ago, we sent a fruit party for the orphanage and a "forever family" gift for Jaden.  Usually when someone orders a package like that, the orphanage sends a few pictures to assure the gift-giver that it was all received.   We were told that he was going to have a party in December and that they would try to send pictures then.  Well it is, of course, January and we had never heard back and so I sent a follow up letter just asking if he had ever had his party.

This is what I got in response:

Hi Tracy, Can't believe you will be in China next week! So happy for you! We called the orphanage yesterday, the director knew you would visit them during your stay, they were excited.
They had a party for Jaden and took pictures for you. However, the staff in charge was in her biz trip, she will be back in a few days, we could only get the picture by then. The director said since you were going to visit the orphanage, it would be easier to use flash drive to download it directly, besides there are MANY other pictures of Jaden you could download too. Let us know if you wanna receive the farewell party pictures this week, then we'll try to contact the lady as soon as she returns. Thank you.
 




It is wonderful to know that the director is "excited" that we are coming.  Unfortunately, many of the orphanages do not allow, much less welcome visitors.  I have been pretty sure that I wanted to see where my son was raised for the first 44 months of his life.  I expect that it will be hard in some ways.  No matter how hard they want to try, an orphanage is just not a home.  It will hurt to see the institution that Jaden spent his toddler days and nights, I know this.  It may be too hard for Jaden to go back just days after saying goodbye to all he knows.  Some families choose not to take this risk and if our little guy is not adjusting well, we may decide that only one of us will make the trip.  I hope that he is able; I think it may be that first step to healing--to be able to say goodbye and see that he isn't being stolen but lovingly handed over. 


I am now hoping that maybe, just maybe, a part of Jaden's history may now be available to us.  I was saddened that I wouldn't have any true baby pictures to show Jaden as he grew.  The orphanage director sounds willing to give us what they do have and I am so hoping that they have kept some from when he was younger!  Ok, ok, I know that 3 isn't exactly ready to head off to college but I want those baby years back.  We have missed so much, his first smile, his first tooth and his first steps.  I want to be able to experience some of it, even if it is just in pictures.

BTW, we will be in the air in 15 hours!!!!

Zai jian, y'all

Tickets are purchased!

Tickets are purchased!  We are leaving Wednesday, which happens to be my birthday  :), and will get off the last leg of the flight on Friday afternoon! 

We will try to keep the blog up to date with the help of my awesome daughter.  :)  Please continue to pray for God to prepare Jaden's heart and to smooth our paths.
Blessings,
Tracy

Consulate Appointment! :)

At 4:30 am, we received the email letting us know the consulate appointment has been scheduled!!

We spent the next several hours getting travel information sent to the travel agent and emailing or calling back and forth trying to hammer out an itinerary.  The final plan has us leaving January 16th and getting into Nanjing on Jan 18th.  Lots of time in airports or airplanes in those 2 days.  :)  It's a good thing that I like to travel, I guess.  We will have Gotcha Day on 1/21, which also happens to be Martin Luther King, Jr Day.  Jaden will have a built in holiday for his Gotcha Day celebrations!

It has been a very emotional day but obviously a very happy one too.  One of the unexpectedly wonderful things about this journey has been the outpouring of support from everyone.  When we posted about the CA today on facebook, it was amazing how many people posted in support.  I realized that we didn't have a swimsuit for Jaden to use in the indoor pool and posted that and within the hour I had several responses offering to bring me one to the office!  I love knowing that I am bringing Jaden home to a community that wholeheartedly looks forward to embracing him. 

As we make these final steps, some of the not-so-happy things have to be faced.  I know that Jaden's life will have so much more promise and opportunity with this change but I am not a 3 year old little guy who doesn't speak the language.  Adoption is a wonderful thing that begins with heartbreak.  Jaden has lived in the orphanage since he was 12 days old.  The nannies and other children have been his only family.  In order to start what we hope will be a wonderful life, he has to leave everything behind.  He will lose his home, his family, his language and go with strangers who look very different, who speak gibberish and who don't understand him.  We know we love him but right now, he doesn't know that.  I can't begin to imagine how incredibly scary this will be for Jaden.  I have prayed for months for God to prepare Jaden's heart for what is coming.  I am trying to prepare my heart for all of the possible scenarios.  Some children grieve so hard for all that they are losing that they just shut down, others grieve loudly and still others seem not to grieve much at all.  The common thinking is that the "better loved" the child is the more likely he is to grieve terribly, because they have more to grieve.  Jaden seems so happy in all of his pictures, I am afraid that he may have a really hard time at first.  The flip side of this is that often the ones that are well loved, find it easier, later, to love their new families.

 God led us to this adoption, I KNOW this.  That has been such a crazy, amazing comfort in all of this.  I have been told in countless studies that when we walk the path that God has planned for us, there is peace.  I have had so much peace and a sense of "rightness" over the last several months because  I've never been so sure that I was doing what God wanted as I have with this adoption.  God directed every foot step of this journey.  He put so many people in my path with adoption stories--patients, lay speakers at events, friends, musicians, random people in stores--it was crazy.  People I've known for years would come up and tell me about their adoption story.   When we saw Jaden's picture on a website of waiting children, it was like, "oh, of course.  I get it now." 

 My comfort through the bumps in the road of this adoption has been knowing that God wanted this for Jaden before I did.  He is in control.  He will be there to comfort Jaden, even if Jaden isn't quite ready to let me comfort him.

Lord, help us know how to help our son.  Let us allow him to grieve in whatever way he needs but show us how to reach his little heart so that he can begin to accept our love.

Travel Approval has been issued!

Whoot!  Travel Approval (TA) has been issued and is in the mail.

When BAAS in California receives it, we can schedule our consulate appointment and then book our flights!!  Yea!
We actually found out at about 10:30 this morning that it had been issued.  I waited to blog until now because, frankly, I was sad.  Not about traveling, I can't wait to travel.  If it had been received by today we could have actually had Gotcha Day on Monday, January 14.  Because they have to actually have the paper copy in hand to make the other appointment, it will push us back some ( probably a week, to January 21).  That means that either on my birthday (1/16) or the next day we should be on a plane on the way to Jaden!!!  Yes, 8 days from now!!  Three days would have been incredible but 8 days is probably better in terms of readiness.  I am over "sad" and have moved on to "thrilled". 

As in everything in adoption, there are things outside of my control that will determine if this really does happen on that schedule.  If we don't get the paper copy until Monday, instead of Friday, we may not be able to coordinate everything in time to leave 2 days later.  It would then all be pushed back another week; but that is not going to happen, right?!  Now would be a good time for prayers.  I sometimes think God drew us toward adoption just so He would hear from us more often.  Hmm, there is a lesson in there somewhere but I have too much of a paper-pregnancy brain to ferret it out right now.  :)

Today is also my sister's ## birthday.  I know she has been praying for me too, that makes it a perfect day to get TA notification.  Happy Birthday, Tami! <3

So much to start doing now...packing, planning, praying.  Working on my 3 p's.  :)

Oh, my goodness...it just got very real.  Very, very soon there will be a new Sanford in town.  :)  I can't wait for y'all to meet him.